


don't play

by cosmicwoosan



Series: canon cumpliant [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Dirty Talk, Excessive Amounts of Lube, Gay Sex, Humor, M/M, Mild Smut, Prostate Massage, Rimming, Sex Toys, all of the smut is vague, and hooks up with san too lol oops, bc this is just a crackfic, because there is no such thing as enough lube, hongjoong is very angry, mingi has a mini sexuality crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-01-29 22:01:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21417352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicwoosan/pseuds/cosmicwoosan
Summary: San and Wooyoung fuck around so often that the others just get used to it. These are their tragic stories.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Choi San/Song Mingi
Series: canon cumpliant [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898980
Comments: 8
Kudos: 490





	don't play

**Author's Note:**

> this is just self-indulgent, vague smut based on the idea that san and wooyoung are actually fwb in real life lol
> 
> also the smut is pretty vague except for the part where san and mingi hook up

**Victim No. 1: Jeong Yunho**

It starts right around Pirate King era, the fucking. The moaning. The incessant bed-rocking. It starts with Yunho.

Yunho is San's roommate. Prior to debut, Yunho has never had an issue with San being his roommate, other than the occasional not-cleaning-up thing which is typical for all of them except Seonghwa. It got to the point where they ended up having to clean their room together just so it could get done at all. But other than that, Yunho has never had a problem.

Yunho sleeps on the bottom bunk. On the occasion, he hears San jerking off, but he's pretty sure San has heard him too. Nothing comes of it, since they all know they're just young adults with hyper sex drives and no way to release it except their own hands. Which is fine. Yunho doesn't have a problem with it.

He's not a light sleeper. He often falls asleep with earphones in anyway, so any sort of noise is usually blocked off. However, there's one night where he wakes up having to take a piss, and hears some very lewd, unexpected noises coming from San's bunk, and it's not the sound of San's slicked-up hand sliding up and down his dick.

Frowning, Yunho pulls the earphones out to hear a whole other _voice, _whimpering, along with the sound of what may or may not be slurping. It's not porn, because why the hell would San watch porn without earphones, but that leaves one other possibility, and that possibility is far worse than porn.

Someone inhales sharply. There are more slurping noises. The breathing is ridiculously loud, and there are _two _people breathing instead of one.

_Oh fuck no, _Yunho thinks. San is _not _getting head. Who the fuck is blowing San? KQ would kill them if they found out San was taking someone home.

"Woo, I'm gonna come."

Yunho's mouth drops wide open. The slurping noises speed up, as does the breathing, and Yunho has to listen as San comes with muffled moans. He's petrified, frozen in place as his bladder temporarily forgets it had to be relieved in the first place. They're panting as San comes down from his high, the bed creaking minimally as they shift above him.

"Do you want me to?" San whispers.

"Yeah, if you don't mind," comes Wooyoung's equally hushed reply.

And if Yunho is about to let that happen, he'll be damned. Frustrated, he swings his legs over the bed and stands up, ignoring the two as he makes his way to the bathroom out in the hall. As he's pissing, he hears the sound of soft footsteps thudding along the floorboards. He rolls his eyes, figuring that Wooyoung must be returning to his room in a hurry, and when he re-enters his and San's room, sure enough, there is only one person on San's bed.

San is turned onto his side, facing away from him.

Sighing, Yunho returns to his bed, tucking himself underneath the covers. He shuts his eyes tightly as his brain tries its damned hardest to forget the sound of San's suppressed moans and him saying "Woo, I'm gonna come."

Obviously, Yunho isn't going to let San live this down.

When the morning comes, Yunho doesn't have much time to give San shit. They have too many things on their schedules, too much practicing to do, and not that much time to talk... alone, that is. Which means, Yunho has plenty of time to tease the fuck out of San if the opportunity rises during practice.

He observes them at first while they practice the choreography to "Treasure." Nothing seems out of the ordinary, no ogling or weirdly sexual looks from either of them. Yunho frowns; maybe it was a fever dream. Maybe he was just _that _tired and he was hearing shit.

He's not going to let San live it down, though. He's not about to convince himself he was hearing shit when he's pretty damn sure Wooyoung was in their room last night giving San a blowjob. He's ready to break them. Make them confess to their crimes. Their lewd, homosexual crimes (Yunho doesn't have a problem with it. He just doesn't want to hear them).

They've run through pretty much all of their songs, _twice, _when Yunho goes in for the kill. They're all sweating, panting messes sprawled out on the floor, apart from San, who's still stretching in front of the mirror. When Yunho finally regains his composure, he wobbles over to San and leans an arm on his shoulder. "You did good today, San-ah."

"Thanks, you too," San says breathlessly, laughing slightly.

"Wooyoung-ah did really good too," Yunho comments like it's nothing out of the ordinary. "His movements are so smooth, and man, his hair? The stylists really did a good job. That purple hair suits him well."

San chuckles with what Yunho thinks is nervousness, but he can't really tell. "Yeah, he... looks really good." His eyes flick over to Wooyoung, who's sprawled out on the floor like everyone else. "Personally, I think my green hair complements his."

Yunho has to hold back his laughter. San holds his gaze on Wooyoung, a form of longing hidden in his eyes, and Yunho has a hard time not smiling, knowing that he's striking a nerve.

In retrospect, however, he really shouldn't have expected anything else to come of that.

The whole hooking up thing doesn't stop. There's _another _night where Yunho wakes up to the bunk actually _rocking, _so much so that the squeaking penetrates the sound of ASMR videos playing through his earbuds. Where he actually feels the bed moving. Where he can actually hear soft, breathy moans and whines coming from the top bunk.

"Ah, S-San-ah, right there!"

"Shh, keep it down, love. Yunho’s right below us."

Yunho's mouth drops open in shock. The fucking audacity.

"B-But Sannie, your cock feels so fucking good. N-Need you to go harder."

_Oh my god, _Yunho thinks, and there's a particularly hard rock of the bed, a particularly loud snapping sound, and a particularly high-pitched, loud yet muffled moan. "Fuck!"

"I'm so close, Woo," San hisses. The bed keeps rocking.

"Yeah, fucking come in me, San."

_Oh, _fuck _no, _Yunho thinks, and he coughs. He rolls to his side and coughs, thinking that maybe it'll send them the signal, like, 'hey, I'm awake, can you two please stop fucking right above me?' But apparently, his coughing doesn't do the trick, and there's a slight loll in the bed's movements before there's a deep exhale and another muffled moan, though Yunho can't tell who it's coming from. San, presumably, but Yunho _really _doesn't want to think about that at the moment.

And it _still _doesn't stop there. The bed stops rocking, but the two don't stop until Wooyoung comes shortly after, deep down San's throat ("mmf, Woo, want you to come down my fucking throat," he hears San say). Yunho just lies there, horrified and disgusted as the slick slurping sounds of San's mouth on Wooyoung's dick comes to a slow but relieving halt. He presses his earbuds further into his ears to attempt to block out Wooyoung's semi-silenced moans, but then again, Wooyoung isn't considered the loudest member for no reason.

The bitch couldn't even hold in his moans.

Yunho counts. It's exactly five hundred eight-two seconds before Wooyoung finally crawls down the ladder and pads off back to his own room. Yunho watches his departure with spite, eyes narrows and face set in a deep frown.

"Fucking—" Yunho is sick of containing his frustrations, and kicks the bed above him.

"Shit! What the fuck?" San hisses. "Yunho? What was that for?"

"Stop fucking around with Wooyoung when I'm right above you!" Yunho whisper-shouts back.

"O-Oh. Shit," San says defeatedly.

Yunho sighs and groans quietly, running his palms across his face. "Go the fuck to sleep, San-ah. I'm begging you."

San says nothing more to that, but begs Yunho in the morning not to tell anybody. To which Yunho tells him that he won't. But Yunho has a feeling that as long as they keep it up, whatever it is the two have between them, he won't have to.

-

**Victim No. 2: Kang Yeosang**

Something changes in the atmosphere one day, Yeosang notices. They practice as they normally do, but it seems as if Yunho is a bit stiffer than usual. Yeosang notices that he glares at San and Wooyoung from time to time with cranky eyes and a nasty scowl. He wonders if the others notice it too.

"Yo, did something happen between you and San and Wooyoung?" Yeosang asks on their break.

Yunho glances past Yeosang at San and Wooyoung, whose dynamics haven't seemed to change from what Yeosang can tell, and rolls his eyes. "Not really," he says with a shrug.

"I seriously doubt that," Yeosang says. "You seem angry with them. Why?"

And Yunho just smirks and scoffs, crossing his arms.

"You'll see."

Confused, Yeosang thinks nothing much of it in that moment. Eventually, things seem to even themselves out. After a few days and shows and promotions, the same energy returns, and everything seems to be right with the three of them again.

Things become normal again, so much that Yeosang totally forgets that what Yunho said to him, until one night when he's forced to.

Unlike Yunho, Yeosang _is _a light sleeper. The slightest movement or noise will wake him. He falls asleep listening to ASMR videos (as most of them, if not all of them do), but anything that can be heard over his earbuds will wake him. When Wooyoung gets up to use the bathroom, he will wake up. If the bed moves at all, he will wake up.

One night, the bed moves much more than Yeosang is used to. Usually, he'll wake up because Wooyoung gets up to use the bathroom, he'll stay awake until Wooyoung gets back, and he'll go back to sleep. However, when his eyes crack open at the sensation of the bed moving, it doesn't feel like Wooyoung getting up to use the bathroom. It doesn't feel like Wooyoung getting up at all. In fact, the movement seems like someone is getting _into _bed.

Had Wooyoung already gotten up to use the bathroom without waking Yeosang? It's peculiar, Yeosang thinks. He usually always wakes up whenever Wooyoung gets up. He should have felt Wooyoung get up—

"Wooyoung-ah, I can't stay here, you know Yeosang is a light sleeper—"

"I know, but I just wanted you so badly."

Yeosang's eyes nearly bulge out of his head. Did he hear that correctly? Who _is _that?

The second voice chuckles softly. "You want me that bad, huh? Want me to fuck you with my tongue until you come?" There's a whimper, a sound of a kiss being pressed somewhere, and a shift of the bed. More kisses. Another whimper. "Answer me, Wooyoung."

"Y-Yes, please."

And that's when things snap into place. _That's _why Yunho had been angry with them. San is apparently about to fuck Wooyoung with his tongue until he comes. Right below him.

Yeosang is wide awake now. Mortified, he picks up his phone and switches his ASMR to something much louder. Maybe listening to "Treasure" for the millionth time and running through the choreography in his head will help distract him from Wooyoung's moans and a squelching sound that Yeosang has _no _idea where it's coming from. He presses his earbuds in until he literally can't anymore, to the point where he can hear the blood pumping to his brain, and _still, _the sound of breathy moans and unsettling wet, smacking sounds infiltrate his poor eardrums.

"Can you guys fucking _not_?" Yeosang nearly screeches, _finally._

"Shit!" San hisses, and the bed rocks violently as he's launched onto the ground (either he launched himself or Wooyoung pushed him, whatever). He scrambles to his feet and scurries out of the room, his footsteps loud and thumping as he beelines towards his own room.

"Shit, Yeosang, I'm sorry—"

"Please, _please, _for the love of all things good, _go to bed,_" Yeosang pleads, close to tears. He doesn't even listen to Wooyoung's response. He simply rolls over onto his side and squeezes his eyes shut so hard that splotches appear in his vision.

Wooyoung sleeps. Yeosang does not.

Hongjoong asks him why he looks so tired the next morning as they're all eating breakfast together, and he simply shoots daggers in Wooyoung's direction.

"Wooyoung-ah was up late last night," Yeosang says, watching as Wooyoung's eyes widen with panic. He doesn't even pay attention to San. "He was... laughing at something."

Hongjoong sighs. "Wooyoung-ah, if you're going to watch funny videos, do it _not _when Yeosang is asleep, okay?"

"O...kay," Wooyoung says, eyeing Yeosang with both suspicion and gratitude. When Yeosang looks over at San, he's avoiding the conversation completely, eyes completely focused on his cereal.

Finally, Yeosang looks at Yunho, who smiles at him sympathetically, like he _knows_.

If Yeosang can come to any conclusions from this whole situation, it's that San and Wooyoung definitely have a thing going on, he and Yunho are the only ones who know, and he makes it his goal to give them hell for making him listen to their sexcapades.

-

**Victim No. 3: Choi Jongho**

There's a really strange shift in the air when they're practicing one day. Tensions are high, but Jongho can't tell who from. Hongjoong's strictness always brings some sort of tension to the group, but this is different. It's not Hongjoong.

He observes all the members at a distance. San and Wooyoung seem as close as ever, Seonghwa is his usual mother-like self, Hongjoong is bossy, and Yunho is energetic. Nothing seems out of the ordinary... until he sees Yeosang off in the corner on his phone, smirking at whatever he's looking at.

"What's up, hyung?" Jongho asks as he approaches.

Yeosang glaces up from his phone, locking it as he does so. "Oh, hey."

"What was so funny?"

"Huh?"

"You were smiling at your phone. Did you find a funny meme or something?" Jongho asks.

Yeosang bites back a smile. "Oh, it's nothing."

A text tone goes off somewhere in the room. "Yah, what did I say about phones?" Hongjoong shouts. "Silence them or I'll confiscate them!"

"Hongjoong-ah, please keep your voice down," Seonghwa says calmly, padding over to Hongjoong's side and patting his shoulder gently. "I know we're all a little stressed right now, but yelling isn't going to help."

Hongjoong sighs. "I know. I'm sorry."

Jongho snorts silently. It's always Seonghwa who's able to comfort Hongjoong. Nothing different about that.

Still, all of them have the same text tone. Jongho figures Yeosang must have sent one of them a funny meme or something. He shrugs it off, not thinking twice about it.

When they pile into the car to drive back to the dorm, they all put their earbuds in. Hongjoong drifts off to sleep. Normal. Jongho sits in the back and watches with Mingi sat next to him. "Hyung," Jongho leans over and whispers, "did Yeosang send you something earlier?"

Mingi is already on his phone. He shakes his head. "No, why?"

"He was laughing at something earlier and I guess he sent it to one of us," Jongho says. "Wasn't me."

"Wasn't me either," Mingi says, shrugging. "You know Yeosang. It's probably a stupid meme."

Jongho nods, settling into his seat and resting his head against the window. Wooyoung is sat directly in front of him. He puts his earbuds in.

Then Jongho sees Wooyoung's head whip in Yeosang's direction. This makes Jongho sit up. He watches as Yeosang looks back at him, smirking and winking. From where he's sitting, he can't see Wooyoung's expression, but he's not about to ask.

After all, it's probably just a stupid meme.

There's a completely different day, though, where Jongho discovers something he never, ever wanted to discover.

Things seem to even out after a little while. The dynamics return to normal. Jongho completely forgets about that day.

He's in the dorm alone one day, having had a stomachache during the middle of practice and was sent home early. He's sat on their living room sofa when he hears the doorbell ring. Confused, he gets up and peeks through the peephole to see a delivery person standing outside their home, holding a decently-sized package.

Normally, one of the older members would take care of this, but he's the only one home. He opens the door hesitantly and greets the man with a bow.

"I'll just need you to sign here," the man says, holding out a digital pad for Jongho to sign. He easily signs it off, and the man hands the package to him. "Have a good day!"

"You as well!" Jongho calls after him, the package now cradled in his arm as he shuts the door. He looks at it, seeing that it's addressed to San.

San? What could he have possibly ordered?

There's no label, no brand attached to the package. There's not even a return address. Just San's name, some of the mailing details, and the address to their dorm. It's sealed like any other package is. Jongho gives it a little shake. Nothing breakable, it seems. It makes a solid noise.

Surely Jongho could open it. There's packaging tape _somewhere _in the dorm. He could always reseal it after he takes a peek. It might look like the package has been opened, but what's the worst Jongho could find in there?

His curiosity gets the best of him in the end. He finds the packaging tape first though, before slicing the package open neatly with a knife. There's an order form, some bubble wrap, and a label-less white bag that holds the _actual _content of the package.

As he examines it, he probably can't open the bag without it looking like he tampered with it, so he leaves it, but he skims over the order form and _holy shit._

_"Ultimate Remote-Controlled Prostate Stimulating Vibrator (Black)"_

Jongho's jaw drops to the fucking floor. He screams into the empty dormitory and, with shaking hands, reseals the package, doing a slightly messy job with it (as his hands are shaking from making the horrific discovery). When he's finished, he's panting, completely forgetting about his stomach pain as it is now replaced by sheer terror.

And to top it all off, he'd forgotten to put the order form back into the box. He's still holding it in his clenched hand, now crinkled between his fingers. He screams again.

He's fuming. This means _war._

When the rest of the members return home, Jongho has settled himself back onto the couch with the package tucked under his bunk. The order form is folded neatly in his pocket. As soon as San walks through the door, his face heats up.

"Hey, Jongho-yah. How are you feeling?" Hongjoong asks.

"Better," Jongho says, feigning innocence as he stands up. "Much, much better. What's for dinner?"

"We'll probably order out again," Yunho says.

"Sounds good."

Jongho walks over to the kitchen island, sitting down at one of the stools. San goes straight for the fridge and pours himself a glass of orange juice. Jongho glares at him the entire time. "Oh, Jongho-yah," San says, snapping Jongho out of his rage-fueled stare, "did a package come today?"

Jongho nearly chokes, but he manages to swallow his horror and says, "No. Why, were you expecting something?"

San frowns, taking his phone out and tapping away at it. Jongho watches him nervously. "Weird, it says it was delivered today."

"Maybe they delivered it to the wrong address. Shit happens," Yeosang comments from the living room.

"Shit," San groans.

It takes everything for Jongho not to burst out laughing.

As they're eating, Jongho notices how tense San is. He chews slowly, his eyes narrow and seemingly lost in thought. Wooyoung occasionally glances at him worriedly, and the other members keep to their own. The dynamics are getting weird again.

"Jongho, are you _sure _you're not lying to me about this package?" San asks suddenly.

"No, I'm not," Jongho says firmly. "Your package didn't come today."

San huffs, rolling his eyes. "Why are you so pressed? What did you order?" Mingi asks curiously.

"Just... some new AirPods. Mine broke," San answers, and Jongho has to suppress a snort. "They're expensive, you know? If they got lost I'm going to scream."

"You could always just ask for a refund and order again," Hongjoong offers. "Not a huge deal."

"Yeah..." San says hesitantly.

Oh boy. If only the other members knew. Technically, Jongho holds all the power to tell them what he _really _ordered, but he feels like that's really pushing it. Even then, he still feels a bit guilty for hiding San's package.

And now, what is he supposed to do with it? He can't keep it hidden in his room forever. What if Mingi finds it? What if Seonghwa does a surprise room inspection? It's not safe.

That night, while San is showering, Jongho retrieves the box from under his bed. He takes out the order form, unfurls it, and writes sloppily across the bottom:

_Here's your package. Sorry I hid it from you. But you owe me. Can't believe I had to see this shit._

He swears Yunho was in the living room, but instead, he's chilling in his room, his and San's room, when Jongho walks in to plant the package. "Oh, Jongho-yah, whatcha got there?" Yunho asks with a grin. "You hid San's package, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Jongho admits.

"And you opened it, didn't you?"

"Yup."

Yunho's face erupts into a grin. "It wasn't AirPods, wasn't it?"

"Nope."

Yunho chuckles, sitting up on his bunk. "So what was it?"

Jongho simply hands him the package with the order form on top of it and lets him read it. Yunho's eyes bulge out of his head at first, but he then bursts into a fit of laughter, handing the package back to Jongho. "Oh my god, you can't be serious!"

"Quite serious," Jongho says flatly.

"Did you see it?"

"No, it was sealed in a different bag, so I couldn't open it without it looking like it was messed with, but reading that order form was enough," Jongho says.

"Well, now San will definitely know that you messed with his package," Yunho says, wiping a tear from his eye. "If I'm being honest, though, him ordering that doesn't surprise me in the slightest."

Jongho frowns, sliding the package onto the top bunk. "What do you mean?"

"Don't tell Hongjoong or Seonghwa-hyung, but... San and Wooyoung have been fucking around."

"What?" Jongho exclaims, but Yunho immediately shushes him.

"Keep it down! Don't want the rest of the dorm knowing," Yunho says quietly.

"You're serious?"

Yunho nods. "Dead serious. Overheard Wooyoung blowing San right above me one night."

Jongho's face twists in disgust. "Oh my god."

"That's not the worst. They actually _fucked _up there, right above me."

Jongho rubs his temples as he paces the room, completely speechless. "I would've stopped them right away, but I just kinda let it happen... but afterwards I just kinda lost it and kicked San's bed and told him to stop. Hasn't done it since."

"Jesus fucking Christ."

"They moved to Yeosang's room real quick after I told them to stop, but he caught them right away and didn't let them continue. He's been giving poor Wooyoungie hell ever since."

Jongho thinks back to the day at the practice room, when Yeosang had been laughing at his phone. It must have had something to do with that. Whatever it was, Jongho doesn't know, but now, he _really _doesn't want to know.

"S-So... Hongjoong-hyung and Seonghwa-hyung don't know?"

Yunho shakes his head. "Neither does Mingi. I mean, for all we know, they _could _know and are just really good at hiding it, but I honestly don't think they know."

"Should we tell them?" Jongho asks.

"Nah. When you think about it, it's really not that big of a deal. Is it slightly mentally scarring? Absolutely. But we don't have any control over what they do. If they're going to fuck around, we can't necessarily stop them from doing so. The best we can do is hope that they don't do it while we're around."

"I... guess you're right."

"And if San-ah gets mad at you for hiding his package, I'll have a talk with him. No worries, Jongho-yah. I'm sorry you had to see that, but at least you didn't see the actual thing," Yunho says with a heartwarming smile.

Jongho lets out a sigh of relief. At least he has that reassurance.

Things get a little rocky after that.

Of course, San now knows that Jongho _and _Yunho know about his package. As it turns out, Yunho _did _have to talk San out of exploding at Jongho. But for the most part, things aren't as awkward as Jongho expected them to be.

They never told Yeosang, despite Yeosang knowing about Woosan's sexual endeavors (the fans had started calling them that, so they decided why not call them that too). And like many times before, it takes a little while for the atmosphere to even itself out again.

San and Wooyoung don't fuck in their rooms at night anymore, according to Yunho and Yeosang. Jongho is happy for them.

Things seem to be okay. If San and Wooyoung are still fucking around, they don't hear it. They don't talk about it.

Things are good.

-

**Victim(?) No. 4: Song Mingi**

Mingi isn't as clueless as the other members think he is. He just likes to play the part.

He _knows _something is up when Yunho and Yeosang look at each other and smirk like they know something. He _knows _something is up when San and Wooyoung act like they're dating each other and Yunho and Yeosang send them malicious yet teasing glances. He _knows _something is up when San says he'd ordered "AirPods" when he knows very well that his AirPods work fine.

In all honesty, Mingi thinks Hongjoong and Seonghwa are the clueless ones.

When Mingi is assigned San as a roommate for the Expedition Tour, he takes this opportunity to get to the bottom of everything. He spends the plane ride, the bus rides, even their precious downtime, _scheming, _planning out how to go about this. How to make San spill everything.

Because while he knows something is up, he doesn't know exactly what.

Eventually, during their third show, he whips up the perfect plan.

He knows San is the type to spill something if he's really, really annoyed. So that's exactly what Mingi plans on doing.

Operation Annoy Choi San is a go.

They've settled into their pillows after a VLive, exhausted from lots of finger-flicking and charade antics, when Mingi thinks, _this is the perfect time. _When San is tired.

"So, Sannie, what's up?"

San turns in his direction, raising an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean, 'what's up?' I'm literally sitting across from you."

"I've noticed something's been a little off lately. For a while, actually," Mingi says.

San frowns. The face of someone who's hiding something, Mingi notices. "Nothing's wrong, dude. Everything's fine."

"I've noticed Yunho and Yeosang being a little bit skittish around you and Wooyoung. Something you wanna tell me?" Mingi raises his voice by a few octaves, standing up from his bed and pouting. He puts both his hands on his hips.

"Dude, do _not _do aegyo right now. You know we don't do that shit when there aren't cameras around," San warns.

"But Saaaanieeee!" Mingi whines, pouncing onto the end of San's bed. "Something's very wrong! Are you fighting with the rest of the ninety-nines?" He gasps dramatically. "Oh my god, are you guys planning something? Maybe my birthday even though it's like six months away? Is that why you're all leaving me out of the loop? Are you—"

"Mingi-yah, I will give you ten second to shut the fuck up."

"But I wanna knooooow," Mingi drawls, crawling up towards his roommate and bouncing up and down next to him. "Why are you all looking at each other funny? Is it because—"

"God, fine! You wanna know what's going on?" San nearly shouts.

"Yes!"

"Wooyoung and I are fucking! That's what's going on! Yunho and Yeosang know and give us hell for it. Happy?"

Mingi stops bouncing. He stares blankly at San, whose face has tinged pink from either anger or embarrassment. Out of all things wrong, Mingi hadn't exactly expected to hear _that. _He sits properly, crossing his legs. "Oh. Um... sorry."

San sighs, exasperated, as he pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. "For the love of God," he mutters. "Just... if you give us hell for it, do it when nobody else is around, please. It's embarrassing enough. Now the hyungs are the only ones who don't know."

"Wait, does Jongho know too?"

"Remember the package from a few months ago?"

"Yeah."

"I got a vibrator for me and Wooyoung to play around with. Jongho opened it, so he found out," San explains, his facial expression going from annoyed to just plain sad. "Just please don't tell the hyungs. I swear they'd kill us if they found out."

"Seonghwa-hyung, no. Hongjoong-hyung, probably," Mingi says.

"Not the point," San grits.

"It's okay," Mingi says, rubbing San's shoulder. "I won't tell them. Have you and Wooyoung been fucking for a while now?"

"We hooked up a little bit before our debut, but we kissed a lot before then... wait, why do you want to know?"

Mingi shrugs. "I don't know, just curious, I guess."

"You're not grossed out by it?" San asks suspiciously.

"Not really," Mingi says.

"Yunho and Yeosang have literally heard us messing around," San tells him. "And Jongho was scarred just from seeing the order form. He didn't even see the toy."

"Okay, and?"

"So why aren't you freaking out?" San blurts.

Mingi just stares at him. He doesn't see anything wrong. Even if he _did _hear them fucking, he could just ignore it. Or not. He wonders how they go about it.

Oh no.

"Um," Mingi says cluelessly.

"I mean, I feel like you'd be freaking out a little more, but at least you didn't have to hear or see anything like the others. Maybe that's why you're not freaking out," San says jokingly, laughing to himself.

Mingi presses his lips together, ignoring the embarrassment pooling in his gut. His face is heating up now, and he's pretty sure he's blushing. He looks away from his roommate, glancing around the room nervously. "Wait, are you... are you like, _curious _about me and Wooyoung?"

Mingi's eyes land on San again, who's fucking _smirking _at him, much like Yeosang and Yunho smirk at each other. Mischievousness. Scheming. _Something _going on in those devilish eyes of his. "Um... maybe?"

San chuckles. "Cute, Mingi-yah. You're cute."

"I just, um..." Mingi swears the room gets ten times hotter as the question pours out of his mouth. "What's it like?"

"What, hooking up with Wooyoung?"

"Y-Yeah," Mingi says. "Like... the sex and stuff. What do you two do?"

San's smirk softens into a warm smile as if he _understands. _"Well, we blow each other. Fuck each other. Wooyoung likes to be rimmed. And we did end up trying that toy. It was definitely worth the embarrassment after Jongho discovered it, let me tell you that." He laughs, and Mingi swears he scooches closer to him.

"So are you two like, dating?"

San shakes his head. "Nah. We literally just fuck around when we're horny."

"O-Oh."

"Why so shy all of a sudden, Mingi-yah?" San asks half-teasingly.

"Just... I don't know. I'm curious," Mingi mumbles, eyes averting San's.

"What about, exactly?"

"I haven't exactly... done anything," Mingi admits, still refusing to meet San's eyes. "I've kissed a girl before, yeah, but it wasn't anything more than a peck. And I'm still a virgin. So like... yeah. I guess I'm just curious about sex and stuff, even with... even with guys."

"Ah." San nods understandingly as he puts a comforting arm around Mingi's shoulders. "There's nothing wrong with that, Mingi-yah. I hope you know that."

"I know." Mingi sighs, resting his tired head on San's shoulder.

"Trust me, that's how this whole thing with me and Wooyoung started," San says. "We were both kinda curious about that kind of stuff, and we were talking about it one night, ended up kissing, and it all just spiraled from there."

Mingi nods, though his stomach is still fluttering with embarrassment.

San's next proposal sends Mingi's head through the roof.

"If you'd like, I can help you with that too."

Mingi pulls away, gawking at his roommate with wide eyes and an open mouth. "You're not serious. What about Wooyoung?"

"What about him? Like I said, we're not dating. And if I'm being honest with you—" San leans in, his lips ghosting over Mingi's ear, "—I think he'd be kinda into it, knowing that we did stuff."

"Are you saying... we'll do stuff?" Mingi asks awkwardly, gulping.

"We can do anything you want," San whispers, one of his hands coming up to stroke Mingi's chest. "Just tell me."

"C-Can you kiss me?"

San giggles and shifts in front of him, straddling his lap and wrapping his legs around his waist. "Cute, Mingi-yah," he murmurs, already leaning in. "Of course I'll kiss you."

He doesn't even waste a second, doesn't let Mingi respond before his lips are already on his. Mingi can tell right away that he's experienced with the way his lips travel across his own. He feels a bit guilty, knowing that he isn't as experienced, and he hopes that he's not too terrible. He tries to follow San's movements, the motions of his lips, and they eventually fall into a rhythm. San exhales into his mouth, his arms hanging over his shoulders and crotch rubbing up against Mingi's torso. Mingi grabs onto San's tiny waist, causing the smaller man to squeal happily into his mouth.

"You're doing great, Mingi-yah," San says once he pulls away. He kisses Mingi's cheek, then lower to his jaw. "Is there anything else you want to do?"

"I... um... I always wondered what it's like to be fingered," Mingi says sheepishly. "I h-haven't gotten around to doing it myself because I was afraid I'd somehow hurt myself while doing it, but I trust you."

San smiles, giving one last peck to Mingi's cheek before he sits up. "I'm glad you trust me, Mingi-yah. And lucky for you, I've got quite some skilled fingers." He hops off of the bed, over to his luggage where he unzips it and pulls out a bottle of lube.

"You brought that with you?" Mingi questions.

"Of course. What if Wooyoungie and I got the opportunity? I can't _not _be prepared," San says. "So, do you want me to?"

"Y-Yes, please."

"Alright, love," San says. He shuffles over to the head of the bed where he arranges some pillows for Mingi to lay on. "Just lie down at let me take care of everything, okay?"

Mingi nods, straightening out his body on the bed and resting his head on the bed of pillows San arranged. San takes the reigns from there; Mingi doesn't even have to reach down to pull his pants off because San does it for him. His cock is already half-hard with anticipation. "Shirt on or off?" San asks him.

"On," Mingi says.

"Okay, no problem. Now... spread your legs, if you'd be so kind," San says, tapping Mingi's knee.

Mingi spreads them, and he's now quite grateful knowing that he doesn't grow a lot of hair there.

"You have a huge cock," San says like it's nothing, sliding his hand between it and his stomach. He grasps it gently.

"U-Um, thank you?" Mingi stutters, his thighs already twitching.

San smiles as he uncaps the lube, spreading it onto Mingi's torso, dick, and thighs. "Rule number one, there's no such thing as too much lube."

"Noted," Mingi says.

San ducks between his legs, his face now level with Mingi's cock as he squirts lube onto his fingers. "This is going to feel a little cold, but it'll warm up, okay?"

Mingi lets out a squeal as San's lube-slicked fingers make contact with his perineum. "Can you bend your knees and spread your legs wider for me?" San asks, and Mingi obliges. "There we go."

San rubs the pads of his fingers against Mingi's now exposed hole and drizzles even more lube around the area. Mingi's thighs are trembling as San strokes a single finger up and down his hole, applying light pressure against the rim. "I'm going to push one in now, okay?"

"Okay," Mingi manages to choke out.

San's finger practically slips in, thanks to the excessive amount of lube. While it's definitely a new feeling, it's not unpleasant or uncomfortable. San wiggles his finger around inside him, feeling him out, and presses a few kisses to Mingi's inner thigh as he does so. "Okay?"

"Y-Yeah," Mingi says. "It's good."

"Good." San pushes his finger in further, and that's when Mingi feels a weird pleasurable pain. He lets out a small moan, muffled by his hand. "You don't have to hold back, Mingi-yah. Well, as long as you don't scream."

Mingi simply nods, his words escaping him at the moment. San starts to pump his finger in and out of him, avoiding that spot that made Mingi feel that weird sensation, and he finds himself wanting San to do it again, but can't bring himself to ask.

Something tells him San is going to do it anyway.

"Do you think you can take another?" San asks.

"Yeah," Mingi replies, glancing down at San. His facial expression is soft, maybe even focused, as another finger slides in along with the other one, and that's when Mingi starts to feel the stretch. "Oh, f-fuck."

"Is it alright?" San asks, his fingers halting.

"Yeah. Just... the stretch."

"It'll start to feel really good soon, I promise," San says as he uncaps the lube again with his free hand, squirting more of it onto his fingers. Mingi is pretty sure it's on the sheets by now, but doesn't have the mental capacity to care.

San scissors his two fingers inside Mingi, stretching and pressing against his walls. With his free hand, he takes hold of Mingi's cock again and presses his lips against the head. "May I?" he asks, his breath already making it twitch.

"Yes. God, please, yes," Mingi moans.

San chuckles as his lips engulf the tip, his tongue poking at the slit as he presses his fingers deep into Mingi again. Mingi's head is thrown back in pleasure; the pain from that spot has seemingly dissipated, and with each of San's fingers' movements, he involuntarily thrusts into San's mouth.

"Oh my fucking god," he gasps. "S-San-ah, what are you doing?"

San hums around his cock before pulling off. "What do you mean?" he asks innocently, but his fingers are still moving around inside him, still hitting that spot that's _actually _making his cock twitch and leak precome onto San's lips.

"I feel like I'm close already," Mingi says.

"It's called a prostate massage. Feels really good, doesn't it?" San says, licking Mingi's precome off his lips and the tip of his cock. "If I add another finger, you'll come in the next two minutes. I guarantee it."

"God, I... I don't know. I kinda want to, um, come from you blowing me. I-If that's okay."

"Of course. Whatever you'd like. But how about this, tell me when you're about to come, and I'll pull my fingers out, okay?'

Mingi nods quickly, anything for San to get his fingers moving again. Sure enough, San adds more lube and a third finger slips in with little resistance, but Mingi can _definitely _feel more of a stretch as San's three fingers move around inside him. San doesn't return to his cock; he simply watches his own fingers disappear inside Mingi, reaching far into him, jabbing at the bundle of nerves deep inside. Mingi's cock twitches helplessly as more precome leaks from it, and he's starting to feel close again even though there's nothing touching it.

"Shit, San-ah, how... how is this possible?" Mingi asks in disbelief as he grinds down onto San's fingers, seeking more pleasure.

"It's possible to come just from prostate stimulation. It's just _that _good," San says. "And I'm _great _at finding them."

"Y-You got that right," Mingi says. "Oh, god, I'm gonna come soon."

"Would you like me to blow you now?" San asks, to which Mingi nods.

When San pulls his fingers out, his mouth is instantly on Mingi's cock, devouring half of it in one go. The lube is making it easier for him to engulf, as his tongue glides effortlessly along the underside of it. "Oh my—f-fucking hell, San."

San moans, his eyes rolling up to gaze into Mingi's. Mingi sits up slightly, his hand coming up to tangle his fingers into San's hair. His lips are stretched around his cock so deliciously, his eyes are hazy with lust, and Mingi swears he doesn't even get to last two minutes like San said.

He comes with a low, guttural moan, forgetting to warn San, but the older doesn't seem to care. He swallows around Mingi's cock as Mingi comes down his throat, slowly pulling off and slurping up whatever is left. Mingi collapses back onto the pillows, completely spent.

"Oh my god," he pants. "That was..."

"It was amazing, wasn't it?" San says, smirking with an arched eyebrow.

"Fuck, yes it was," Mingi says, laughing. "I can see why you and Wooyoung fuck around so often. If I were him, I wouldn't go a day without fucking you."

"Oh, Mingi-yah, I haven't even fucked you yet."

Mingi quirks his own eyebrow as he sits up. "Yet?"

San smiles innocently and shrugs.

"Only if you want to."

-

**Victims No. 5 & 6: Kim Hongjoong & Park Seonghwa**

When Hongjoong and Seonghwa finally catch on, it's already too late. The damage has already been done.

They're all back at the dorm after practice when it happens. When there's a loud cry from somewhere in the dorm, and it can only come from either one of two people, as six of them are all gathered in the living room. All of their eyes look up at the sudden sound.

"What was that?" Hongjoong asks.

"Sounded like Wooyoung-ah," Seonghwa says.

Yunho and Yeosang start snickering. "Where's San? Are those two causing trouble?" Hongjoong asks, his frustration already building.

"I'm sure Wooyoung is just screaming again," Jongho comments nonchalantly, his eyes returning to his phone. "You know him."

Yunho doesn't stop laughing. "What's going on?" Hongjoong demands, but then there's another loud cry.

"F-Fuck!"

Hongjoong's head whips towards the direction of the bathroom, where there's an audible shower going. "What in the world—"

"Oh my _god_, Sannie! _Harder_!"

Seonghwa's jaw drops wide open, and that's when Yunho's laughter reaches a high, the rest of the victims joining his. The cries become continuous now, transforming into high-pitched moans and whines rather than just random cries.

"Your cock is so big, Sannie. You fuck me so good," Wooyoung moans loudly, _deliberately, _as Yunho, Yeosang, Jongho, and Mingi's laughter flood Hongjoong and Seonghwa's poor ears.

"His cock isn't that big," Mingi says, and the other three laugh even harder.

As it turns out, none of them can keep a secret. It didn't take long for the first three victims to find out that Mingi occasionally participated in their sexual antics, but by the time Yunho, Yeosang, and Jongho found out, they weren't fazed.

No, nothing was fazing them anymore.

Hongjoong is close to tears now, his AirPods shoved deep into his ears as he covers them. Seonghwa covers his ears as well, his face entirely disgusted by the raucous moans ringing throughout the entire dorm.

"Damn, I guess they really don't care anymore," Yeosang laughs.

"I guess they figured the hyungs would find out eventually," Yunho adds.

When the moaning stops and Hongjoong and Seonghwa finally unplug their tortured ears, Hongjoong is _fuming. _"Just _what _was the meaning of that?" he screeches.

"San and Wooyoung have been fucking for a while," Yunho tells him. "We all knew."

"I didn't!" Seonghwa says defensively.

"Well, yeah. I meant the rest of us," Yunho elaborates. "They were keeping it from you because they knew you two would be the most upset. But like, honestly, it's not really that mentally scarring anymore. Once we all found out, we were obviously really horrified, but now it's kinda funny."

Hongjoong gapes at his members, Seonghwa equally appalled. "_San! Wooyoung! Get your nasty asses out here this instant!_"

The younger members start snickering again. It's a few seconds before Woosan appear in the doorway, thankfully dressed and hair wet. "Just _what __the fuck _did you just force us to listen to?" Hongjoong shouts.

"Sorry, hyung. San was just going really hard today," Wooyoung says coyly. "I couldn't help myself."

Seonghwa looks up at Hongjoong helplessly. His tiny body looks like it's about to burst with rage. "I swear to god, you two better cut this shit out! If you're going to fuck, at least do it when there aren't other human beings around to hear you!"

Surprisingly, he doesn't say anything else before he storms past Woosan and retreats back into his room, Seonghwa following shortly after. He looks at them apologetically and even bows as if to express his apology for Hongjoong's behavior.

The younger members all exchange a _look _before they all burst into laughter.

"Well, that was a funny way to break the news to them," Yunho says.

"Wooyoungie here is really good at moaning, whether it's real or not," San says, throwing an arm around his partner and pecking him on the cheek.

"You guys, man," Jongho says, coming down from his laughter.

That night, the cries of Kim Hongjoong could be heard throughout the dorm, as well as _real _moans coming from Wooyoung and Yeosang's room.

(The younger members had come to an agreement where Yunho and Yeosang would spend the night in each other's rooms sometimes, just so Woosan could have their private time. It all worked out.)

-

The only time one of them (Seonghwa) gets mad at San and Wooyoung for fucking is when they leave a used condom in his room as a prank.

Other than that, it's really nothing new.

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/galaxysangs)


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